Jailbait
by Razell
Summary: 2,842 plus 16 equals Trouble.


Jailbait

The party was really starting to scream when the sphinx howled, signaling the arrival of another guest. The problem was, Cleo hadn't invited anyone else to the party. "Who the...?" She stopped smothering her boyfriend and sat up on the couch, allowing Deuce to finally catch his breath, "Maybe it's one of the zombies, they're always late." Deuce smiled, adjusting his sunglasses, "Everyone is here!" "You couldn't possibly have counted _everyone_..." Cleo frowned, and the young gorgon thought quickly, "I mean, one of your _servants_ must have made a mistake!" Cleo de Nile _never_ made mistakes, "Heads will roll, Deuce, heads will roll!"

Imhotep, the butler, walked into the room, and he wasn't alone, two uniformed police officers were following close behind. The party immediately stopped, every monster in the palace was focused on the new arrivals, and _not _Cleo, something that made the princess even angrier than the unwanted intrusion. "How _dare_ you interrupt _my_ party! Do you know who_ I_ am! I am _Cleo de Nile!_ If this is some complaint about the noise, it was hardly necessary to barge in here like barbarians! I demand to know who called you!" The first officer, a burly oni, stepped up and flashed his badge, "Cleo de Nile, you are under arrest." Everyone's collective jaw dropped, and a few literally lost their heads. "_What_? Is this some kind of joke? Because I am _not_ amused!" The officer pulled out a pair of handcuffs, "This is no joke, ma'am. Now if you'll just come along quietly."

"_QUIETLY_! How dare you! Do you know who my _father_ is! I'll have you fed to the crocodiles for this!" "Wait a minute, what is this about, officer?" Deuce stepped between the policeman and his irate ghoulfriend, "This is about a 5,845 year old woman dating a 16 year old boy. Now, please step aside." "That's royally ridiculous, I'm _only_ 5,84_2_! Deuce, _stone him_! Do something!"

Deuce Gorgon was dumbfounded, even Cleo's piercing shrieks barely penetrated his shocked mind, "Officer, we... We never got _that_ far." He quickly wiped black lipstick from his handsome face, as his snakes hissed and squirmed in agitation. "_Sure_ kid," The second cop, a werewolf snickered, "And I'm the _boogeyman_." "Hey! That was uncalled for!" Manfried Bogge shouted from across the room. "Deuce, stop standing there like a stupid zombie and do something! For Ra's sake, these handcuffs_ totally_ clash with my outfit! This is a royal outrage!"

The other guests stood around stunned, while Manfried demanded an apology and Cleo screamed bloody murder. Clawd Wolf edged up to Deuce, "Maybe this is for the_ best_, man. Think of how she treats you." "But..." He said weakly "Deuce Gorgon, if you don't do something right this minute I'll have you _flogged_!" Cleo was literally unraveling, and Deuce thought back over the course of their relationship, the insane jealousy, the possessiveness, the petty cruelty...

As Cleo de Nile was led away kicking and screaming to the police hearse, Deuce Gorgon smiled and waved good-bye.

Afterward,

_Manfried Bogge_ complained to the police chief and the officer was forced to apologize and undergo sensitivity training.

_Cleo de Nile_ was sentenced to thirty years for statutory rape, and three unlife sentences for slavery and torture, not to mention Resisting Arrest, Assaulting an Officer, _etc.._. She is now forced to wear hideous orange jumpsuits that clash with her shoes every single day...

_Deuce Gorgon _now lives in Greece and is undergoing therapy.

Notes:

C'mon, she's around 5,842 and he's 16, it's just_ wrong_.

Medusa called the police, she couldn't bear to see her son suffering with Cleo any longer.

An _Oni_ is a Japanese monster loosely equivalent to an Ogre.

_Manfried Bogge_ is mine, unless I heard the name before and somehow forgot. I'm honestly not sure. I changed his name from Boogey to Bogge, as Boogeyman originally comes from the German word _Bogge_, meaning Goblin.

_Clawd Wolf, Cleo de Nile, Deuce Gorgon_, etc copyright Mattel


End file.
